Comments on Love
Blog, June 30, 2016
Have you contemplated Love lately? I’m not speaking necessarily of the romantic, Hollywood, fairytale type of Love. June is the 6th month and in numerology, 6 represents love, caring and nurturing. And while that can, of course, pertain to our relationship with others, I’m talking more about our relationship with ourself. While it’s wonderful to love and care for others, be they lover, spouse, child, pet or any significant other, it is equally important to love ourselves. And this is not something we are very good at. Our society and culture is usually telling us to try harder…be better…feel bad about yourself for failing to do that…etc. I’m sure you get the picture, those continuous negative thoughts that loudly run across our consciousness or the quieter, sneakier ones that just keep a running dialogue in the back of our mind.
How about loving ourselves just the way we are? Warts and all! Yes, I know, we’ve all done this and that wrong, or said this or that when we shouldn’t have or done some other nefarious deed or two and, while that all may be true, how about loving ourself anyway? Consider the novel ideal that you are not your actions. That you are perfect just the way you are. Yes your behavior may have been less than sterling, in fact it may have been downright horrific, that does not mean that you are not a being to be loved. While this may be difficult to contemplate think about the fact that each and every one of us is here on Earth to be loved. First by ourself, than by others.
Okay, I know this sounds like some type of New Age airy-fairy talk and I hear you, I really do. So how about we just start out liking ourselves? We don’t have to jump into love right away…just like ourself and treat ourself like we would our best friend. We would not let a best friend continually talk disparagingly about them self yet we do let our mind natter on about ‘we could do better’, ‘we’re not trying hard enough’, ‘how can we be so stupid’, and more. Yes, we can do better and we can try harder and we can be smarter but that has nothing to do with our lovability or like-ability. If we truly learn to like and even love ourself we can then really love someone or something else. Loving ourself is the first step in learning to love another, than a community, than a world. We have to start with our Self.
So how do we do that? Well first you can decide what you would like to make you happy right now. A chocolate truffle? a massage? swinging in a hammock? a movie? Whatever! Just pick one thing right now that would bring a smile to your face and make you feel good. That’s one of the first steps to liking and/or loving yourself. You have to give to yourself what you want. Do you feel like dancing? Put on a CD and dance away! Do you want to sleep? Curl up on the couch, a chair, the grass and sleep deeply. Enjoy yourself. Allow yourself to be happy.
Now I hear you saying, well that’s all well and good but if we all play the grasshopper there’ll be no winter stores put away; we need to be more like the ants and work, work, work. I am not advocating becoming irresponsible; I’m just talking about allowing yourself to feel good about yourself. Dropping responsibilities does not make me happy, there has to be some type of balance for me to feel happy. When we feel good about ourselves we can achieve our goals and desires with greater ease because we are open to more solutions. This is a type of self nurturing that feeds us on so many levels. Physically our body relaxes a bit more; emotionally we feel a lightness to our mood; mentally our mind calms and allows more creative space to open up and spiritually our spirit/soul transcends a bit more. Don’t take my word for it, try it for yourself. Be good to you.
I call it Positive Selfishness, meaning you put yourself first and being sure your wants and needs are met, in turn, allows you to turn around and pass it on. You feel great so why not share it? A smile on your face for no reason other than it feels good. I know we’ve all heard many times, aboard the plane, about putting the oxygen mask on your self first before masking your child. What good are you to your child or anyone if you pass out before you can help or assist them? Make sure your love tank is topped off by being good to yourself. Treat yourself like you would your best friend. We are worth it, each and every one of us. And one by one, the world becomes a little bit brighter. And we do need the brightness, we do indeed.
“LOVE TO YOU ALL!!”